


Safe

by SaoryEmanoelle



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, M/M, Married Couple, Sleep Deprivation, Slice of Life, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25138363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaoryEmanoelle/pseuds/SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: It's past midnight when Vanitas wakes up and finds himself alone, Ventus' side of the bed empty and the blanket tossed aside.
Relationships: Vanitas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a little drabble I wrote yesterday in the early hours when I couldn't sleep :'3 Some people liked it so I turned it into one-shot and added a little bit of a plot to it! I hope you like it <3
> 
> Original drabble: https://twitter.com/SaoryEmanoelle/status/1279981441464578049

It’s past midnight when Vanitas wakes up. He can tell just by looking up at the window and staring at the beautiful moon that smiles at him, casting its blue light on the curtains and whatever part of the floor it can reach.

Vanitas always loved this, to watch the stars and the moon before falling asleep. He was lucky enough that Ventus didn’t mind it and even allowed him to choose his side of the bed closest to the window. The bed was still three or four feet away from it, but it was good like this. After all, watching the stars wasn’t his favorite thing to do.

Being with his husband was. Laying on top of him and listening to his heartbeat was. Seeing him smile and wish him ‘Good Morning!’ and “Good night...” every day with that sweet voice of his. And of course, to cuddle with him every night and feel just how warm he was when they lay close together.

He turned his head a little bit, moved his hand to touch the other side of the bed. It was cold as if no one had ever been there for a few hours.

Vanitas sighed, his eyes closed. Part of him said he was just being a pessimist and that he should stop worrying so much. Part of him told him ‘He probably just went to the bathroom’ and asked him to wait for a while longer. But it was the other part of him that made him open his eyes again and look up at the clock on their bedside table.

It was past midnight, alright. At that moment, the clock ticked once more: 3:13 AM.

He leaned on his elbows, breathing slowly for a few times. The pain in his shoulder was starting to bother him. He pulled himself up and approached the window. Bathed in the moonlight, he could almost hear Ventus’ cheerful voice calling him ‘A Masterpiece’. He always did that, the sap. Vanitas used to groan whenever he did, just to maybe hide how much he enjoyed it when his darling praised him. Being praised by the blond was something his younger self could only see happening in his dreams and yet here he was: Married to him! It was like a dream come true! Of course, he’d never say these words out loud or Ventus would make him blush even more.

No, he’d rather make Ventus blush instead. Ventus was beautiful. He was _gorgeous_. His very presence made Vanitas feel like he was staring at the Sun, a majestic light just for him, the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He absolutely loved to make him smile and laugh only so he could see that tint of pink on his cheeks. 

Vanitas sighed again, the shadow of a smile that was forming on his own lips fading away. He waited for a little longer and tried to hear something, but there was no other sound than that of his own breathing. As he made his way through their house, moving past photo frames on the walls, by his office and the living room, he took a quick glance at the bathroom door. No light coming from underneath, as he expected. He already knew where Ventus was.

He stopped before the kitchen’s door. It was slightly open, enough for him to push. He heard no sound coming from there, unlike in the past night. He’d heard sobs back then. As gentle as he could he pushed the door open but even his gentleness wasn’t enough.

Ventus jumped, startled, dropping a bit of his tea from his mug right on the floor. He was standing next to the sink and held the mug with both of his hands, tightening his grip on it once he saw who was looking at him.

“Van-! Vanitas, h-hey...”

Vanitas smiled at him. His smile is soft and comforting. As worried as he is, he doesn't let it show.

“What are you doing out here alone? It’s cold, love.”

His voice is just as soft as his smile. He approaches his husband and Ventus looks down, taking another sip of his tea. Vanitas notices he’s shaking.

“I just… Didn’t want to wake you up. You know how noisy I can be.”

“You know I don’t mind that.”

The blond pulls the mug close to his nose, smelling the chamomile scent before drinking a bit more.

“But I do.”

Ventus looks at his partner, expecting it. Always expecting it, the rage and disappointment, the ‘It was your fault’, but that never comes. All he gets every day is kindness and patience, all he gets is love. He looks down again and stares at his own feet.

“... I don’t think the meds are working.” He finally says, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes again.. “They… They only make me feel worse.”

Truly, Ventus hadn’t felt like himself for the past few weeks, ever since he started on his medication. He felt sluggish most of the time, even while doing the most basic things, but he was still struggling to sleep which was why he'd even started on those meds to begin with. Even when he did manage to sleep a bit it was only to wake up again covered in sweat and holding on to Vanitas for dear life.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ventus apparently ignored Vanitas' question because he just looked inside his mug and turned his back to him.

Vanitas was pretty sure it was intentional. Ventus still couldn't look at him for too long, he noticed. He assumed he was still in denial.

“No. I… Not now, honey, thank you.” His voice shook and he forced a smile. “Do you want some tea?”

Vanitas approached him again but Ventus didn’t move. He kept looking at his drink, as if afraid of meeting his husband’s gaze. Vanitas touched his arm and heard Ventus sniffle.

“... Another nightmare?”

Ventus nodded, trying to dry and hide his tears with his arm to no avail for they didn’t stop falling. Vanitas knew that if he tried to say another word he would break and that was exactly what Ventus was trying to avoid. But he couldn’t simply leave him like this.

“... Ven…” He whispered, hoping Ventus would finally look at him, but he didn’t. He only started shaking more and covered his mouth with one hand. "... Sweetheart..."

“I keep seeing them.” Ventus sobbed and put a hand over the counter, leaning forward. “I k-keep seeing it all again…!”

Vanitas looked down, not saying a word. They had been together for fifteen years but, in his heart, he knew he’d never be able to fully understand what Ventus tried to convey to him. After all, he hadn’t been the only survivor of an accident.

Up to that day, he still didn’t know too much. Everything Ventus told him had been done so in pieces and whenever he talked about it things seemed to turn upside down. But Vanitas had gathered enough to at least put himself in his husband’s place and try to comfort him as best as he could. As much as he could.

“... Ventus, I’m so sorry...”

He was 8 at the time. It was supposed to be a fun, happy trip to the beach, one he and his twin brother Roxas had been looking forward to for months. His parents, Ventus once mentioned, were the happiest they’d ever been. Roxas had challenged him to a race to their car and he’d happily ran after him. Then everything he had was turned into shreds because of a drunk driver.

“No, Van… I am sorry.” Ventus muttered, staring down at the sink as his tears fell down. Still refusing to look at him. “I… I shouldn’t have-”

But even though he couldn’t be there for him when it happened, Vanitas had been with him ever since they met. He’d been with Ventus through therapy, he’d been with Ventus when he finally had enough courage to look at photos from his childhood again. He was getting better. His trauma, albeit always there, wasn’t as imposing as it had once been.

“Ventus, it wasn’t...” Vanitas started but it getting hard to speak, as if something got stuck in his throat. “I don’t blame you-”

“But I do!” Ventus exclaims and finally turns to face him. His eyes lack any shine they used to have, tears being their only glimmer, rolling down and over the long, deep scar he had on his face. His face, terribly pale, with big bags under his eyes. Vanitas still thinks he’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

“If it wasn’t for me… If I had-”

“Ventus-”

Vanitas himself didn’t remember much. All he knew was that after many years of therapy, Ventus had finally got his driver’s license. It had been hard at first, but Vanitas thought he was a natural and he’d done great since they started going out more often. 

“If I… If only I had acted faster, maybe then… Maybe then you wouldn't be-”

All Vanitas remembered from the accident was that he realized they were going to be hit. Ventus did too, but he could never be as fast as he needed to get out of the way. And then all Vanitas knew was that they were in the hospital and that Ventus had a deep scar on his face. And that something had happened to him.

“I am alright, Ventus.” Vanitas said, not for the first and not for the last time. Those words did come out harsh at times before but not now. “I am well, healthy and alive. And so are you.”

The blond closed his eyes tight, too overwhelmed to say anything. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Vanitas to stay, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be alone. Every fiber of his being screamed in fear and he still didn’t know how to deal with it.

Vanitas tried to reach for him but Ventus took a step back. He raised his hand, asked for Vanitas to give him more time to breathe, and covered his eyes with both hands, trying to keep his feelings under control.

“… I’m such a mess...”

“That’s usually my line.” Vanitas says in a lighter, more playful tone. Ventus doesn’t laugh or smile but he stops sobbing as much and eventually calms down a little bit, turning around once again to check his mug but the tea in it is already cold. He throws the rest of it in the sink and gets some more, watching the steam for a few seconds.

“I can’t sleep... " He whispered and took another sip of his drink. “I can’t sleep. I’m scared of sleeping and… And seeing everything again.”

Vanitas tries to reach for him again and this time Ventus steps closer, as close as he can be. Vanitas takes his free hand and kisses his fingers, never looking away from him.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? You did yesterday.”

“And before yesterday. And the whole past week.” Ventus adds, angry at himself. “At this rate, you'll never have a full night of sleep again.”

Another kiss on his fingers. “I don’t mind.”

“Maybe you should.”

They wait in silence for some time again, enough for Ventus to decide he’d had enough of his drink for the day. It was then that he finally gave in and leaned forward, resting his forehead against Vanitas’.

“The bed is cold without you.” Vanitas added in a whisper and leaned to kiss Ventus’ soft lips. “Why don’t you come with me? We can watch something you like and cuddle under the blankets.”

He finally got Ventus to laugh. It was more of a shy and tired giggle but it was good for now.

“... Does your shoulder still hurt, baby?”

“Like a bitch.” Vanitas replied but shrugged. “But I can handle it.”

“I know you can.” Ventus looked down with a tired smile, looked at Vanitas from his toes to his head. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Come on, then.” Vanitas smiled and turned his wheelchair around, waiting for Ventus to follow.

They passed by the living room and the office again, by the frames on the walls until they were back in their room. Vanitas turned his head to look at the window. It was still dark, thankfully. Vanitas approached the bed but before he could do anything Ventus put his hand on his shoulder.

“Let me help you, love.”

 _You don’t have to_ , he almost said but he simply nodded. Ventus gave him a tired but genuine smile and gently picked him up in his arms, carrying him to his side of the bed just like Vanitas had carried him to the altar when they got married. ‘The best day of our lives’, they’d say. Truth was, every day together was the best day for them.

After making sure Vanitas was comfortable, Ventus kissed his forehead again and lay next to him. Vanitas reached for the remote and turned the TV on, leaving it aside before moving to kiss Ventus. He kissed his lips and then his cheeks where the tears had dried. He also kissed the tip of his nose, getting another giggle out of him.

“So…” Vanitas asked, stroking Ventus' cheek. “What do you want to watch?”

They turned to look at the TV. Ventus chose a random movie that was on and moved closer to Vanitas, snuggling against him and pulling the blankets over both of them, holding him tight.

The sun was already up when Ventus fell asleep. Vanitas was still awake but when he hears Ventus’ peaceful breathing is when he knows it's time to rest as well. He turns the TV off and plays with his husband's hair for a bit and pulls him a bit closer before sleeping too. But even in his sleep, even if he can't protect Ventus from his nightmares, he holds him. He keeps him close.

He keeps him safe.


End file.
